Shame On You

A few days ago, I'm on Facebook, scrolling through my feed, when I see a book recommendation request from a m/m reader. After watching Game of Thrones, the reader was in the mood for some twin action, as in twin brothers getting it on.

I came pretty close to doing a little self-promotion. My book, Triple Play, has a set of twins who share some sexual experiences though they never actually go full anal. I ultimately decided not to throw my hat in the consideration ring. My story is actually about a woman who pursues a relationship with both men, and some m/m readers don't want any m/f intimacy in their books.

A day or so later, I'm scrolling through my Facebook feed once again, and I see a lengthy rant from a fellow m/m author. This author stood on her soap box and went on and on about how disgusting it is for readers to enjoy twincest (yep, it's popular enough to have its own trope name) and it's no wonder the m/m romance writing community can't be taken seriously. As if it wasn't enough for her to disparage other peoples' tastes, she took a screen shot of the original reader's query to further shame her.

My first reaction after reading her post was to feel shame. I didn't feel shame for her. I was ashamed of myself for having written a book with some twincest action. For a few moments, I gave serious though to rewriting the entire book and taking out all of those scenes to make it more palatable.

That feeling was short lived. Once I got over my shame, I was outraged. First of all, how dare she try to publicly shame anyone's reading pleasure? Second, how dare she try to make other authors feel lesser for writing tropes she doesn't approve of? Third, and worst of all, who does she think she is trying to make it seem as though all m/m authors share her feelings? That bitch is giving us a bad name.

Even if I hadn't written Triple Play, I would never condone shaming someone else's tastes because they don't align with mine. If I don't like something, and you do, I'm probably not going to read the book you're recommending. And I am definitely not going to make you feel like shit by publicly shaming you. That is not cool.

I made the choice to stop following the author and to remove her and her spouse from my friends list. I also decided I will no longer buy or promote her books, no matter how much I enjoyed them in the past. Satisfied with my decision, I was ready to move on, but then something amazing happened.

I learned I wasn't alone in my outrage. You know how social media is. Things spread like wildfire there, especially if they're controversial.  It started with the moderators of the m/m book reccomendations group posting an apology to the original twincest reader and reminding all group members it was never acceptable to publicly trash another member's preferences. Many group members chimed in to offer their support to the reader who'd made the original post. Even those who didn't enjoy twincest were encouraging, taking an attitude of to each his own and you do you.

And it didn't stop there. A number of m/m authors took to their social media pages to say it's not okay to publicly shame someone's reading taste. Many removed the offending author from their groups and have pledged to no longer support her.

I am thrilled to see so many people getting behind the original reader. I'm sure this author didn't realize the shit storm she was going to stir up, but it's unfortunate. With the amount of readers she's alienated, it's likely she'll see an impact to her sales. There were countless people vowing never to buy another of her books or never to buy them at all. That's going to hurt, but I have two things to say about that.

Always think before you speak, and shame on you for trying to make others feel ashamed. That's going to be an expensive lesson to learn.