Word 2016 Is The Work of the Devil

As I’m sure you’ve figured out by the title of this blog, I’m really not a fan of Microsoft Word 2016. I know. I know. I’m on the slow train with this. It’s 2018. Here’s the thing. Until recently, I haven’t been using the upgraded version. My old laptop was running just fine so I didn’t need it.

Not too long ago, my laptop crashed. I had to go out and buy a new one, which meant I had no choice but to take the upgrade. And don’t even get me started on licensing. That’s a topic for another day. Since being forced to work with MS Word 2016, I have discovered some things I truly hate about this program. Shall we discuss them?

It doesn’t like contractions. Every time I write the words, I’m, you’re, I’d and so on and so forth, I’m hit with the blue squiggly lines. When I right click to see what the problem is, MS Word suggests that I use does not instead of doesn’t or you are instead of you’re. Whether or not I should follow this suggestion depends on who you ask. Some editors will say you should only use contractions in dialogue while others will say it’s fine to use no matter what. I do what I think is natural and makes the story flow better, and I definitely use it a lot in dialogue. The result? My document is littered with distracting blue squiggly lines.

Use of the passive voice is a big sin with MS Word 2016. Saying that I am being forced to use this program is an example of passive voice. I hate to tell you MS Word, you may be right but correcting it will sound awkward. And I don’t know if you or MS Word creators realize this or not, but most writers use passive voice as do most speakers. You know what that means don’t you? More of those annoying blue squiggly lines are cluttering my document. You want to hear something funny? I am currently staring at 'don’t you' being underlined in my earlier sentence. MS Word thinks I should say, ‘you know what that means do not you?’ No squiggly blue line, but you have to admit it sounds awkward.

Starting a sentence with the word and apparently throws MS Word into a tailspin. I’ll admit that it’s not common. Years ago, our English teachers were slashing red lines through our papers whenever we did it. These days, it’s more accepted. Again, how well accepted depends on who your editor is, but the point is that it’s okay to start some sentences with the word and. I don’t need MS Word telling me to use ‘moreoever’ or ‘in addition to’ instead. I get it Microsoft. You don’t think it’s proper English to start a sentence with the word and. Guess what? I don’t care what you think, and I’m going to keep doing it.

I’m sure there’s probably a way to turn off the squiggly blue lines. If you can turn off auto correct or predictive text on your cell phone, I would be willing to bet someone has come up with a way to turn off the English professor feature in MS Word 2016. The problem with that is I actually find some features helpful. I want to know if the word is spelled incorrectly or there is incorrect comma placement. Other than that, I really wish they had left it alone. This is one upgrade that was not better.