Monday, February 6, 2012

That's just What I Needed

Last week, I wrote a sorrow filled article discussing the woes of my latest rejection. It was a particularly bitter pill to swallow given that I’d gotten closer to that offer of representation than I’d ever been before. In fact, it was such a blow that I publicly contemplated my desire to continue pursuing this dream. The amount of feedback I received on this subject was astounding.

As expected my family and close friends all gave me the pep talk. You know the one I mean. It goes something along the lines of not giving up and how hard it is to make something worthwhile happen. Given the closeness of our relationship, I’d expect that reaction. I think it’s safe to say I’d even be a little offended if I didn’t get that pep talk. It would be somewhat amusing to have one of my family or dear friends tell me to go ahead and throw in the towel if I want to. Of course, they didn’t and I wasn’t surprised.

It was the reactions of my devoted fans that warmed my heart. For those of you who are wondering how it’s possible to have fans when mainstream publication has thus far eluded me should refer to my prior posts about my online publications. Countless fans, who don’t know me personally and have no emotional investment in my happiness, boosted my ego by sending me messages expressing shock and disappointment that I’d been rejected. So many of them have long asked for my books to be in print so they can own copies to hold in their hands, and they couldn’t believe I’d been denied that opportunity once again. Like my family and friends, they encouraged me not to give up, but it was more in the form of very flattering begging.

With as down as the rejection had me last week, it was wonderful to hear so many kind words from total strangers. Whether or not it’s caused me to reconsider my decision not to pursue mainstream publication remains to be seen. I’ve always said it’s not in me to quit, and I’ve been saying this with regard to this particular dream for seven years now. There are days, like the one I had last week, in which I feel as though I really will die trying to make this dream a reality.

At any rate, the lavish praise from the fans reminded me of something. Although writing makes me happy, I truly write for them. I don’t write for an agent or a publisher or the norm of society. They demand my writing and I supply. It’s a simple as that.

No matter why I write or what I decide, one thing’s certain. Their ego strokes were just what I needed. Thanks everyone!

No comments:

Post a Comment